Legacy

I love running support groups. The group process always fascinates me--for the most part, groups run themselves and the members are remarkably talented at getting their needs met and their voices heard. I love doing activities in groups. I believe that group facilitators incorporate what tends to work for them and I know that activities--whether it's writing or moving around--work to get my mind working and my heart open.

I tend to do the activities along with the group members because I feel that I'm most present if I have some understand of the experience with them. (I don't share my answers because it's about them, of course.) Last night at my internship, we did an activity during which we wrote our own eulogies. This had to do with denial somehow and believe me, I didn't come up with it--if you know me, you know I don't talk about death. Anyway, it had a few questions we had to answer. One was "She never had a chance to..."

I did the activity without much thought (again, I don't talk about death much), but when I read it after I was done it really spoke to me. For this question, I wrote the following:

• Go skydiving
• Have a child (the most surprising because I don't even know if I want children)
• Finish my MSW degree
• Finish working on the house
• Travel the world
• Forgive my father

I think there were some other ones, too, that I can't remember right now. I am struck that such deep things came out for me, things I haven't thought about for years. For the last three years, I've said "Well, when I'm done with school...". It seems like there is so much that is hanging in the balance right now.

I've made it a goal to write a bucket list. I think it would be fun to create a written reminder of all of the things that I want to do while I'm here on this earth for the little, precious time I have.

If today were my last day, I wouldn't accomplish these goals. But I have lived in a way I am proud of. There is so much to do and not having an MSW should not be holding me back. I want to make sure that every day I am doing the most I can to make the most of my beautiful life.