The Gift of Desire

As mentioned before, I started a 21-day consciousness cleanse today. The first topic is "The Gift of Desire".

Outer Goal: I started this cleanse as a celebration of a year of intuitive eating. Because of this, I chose to focus on my body. The highest vision for this area of my life is that I eat more intuitively. Achieving this goal will change my life in that I will be able to have much less of a focus on my eating. Fulfilling this desire will create room for me to move forward on my journey of self-acceptance.

As for my outer goal, today I honored my body and made the commitment to practice yoga daily during this 21 days. My first class was called "Core Challenge Flow" at Yoga Matrika and it was wonderful! I am so glad to be back in the yoga mix. Yoga makes my body feel better than any other form of exercise. It also helps me center and feel much more self-aware and reflective.

Inner Goal: The feeling I desire most this year is confidence. I've often been told by people that they admire my confidence (as a big woman), but I don't feel as confident as I tend to come across. I want to feel confident in myself and not compare my body to others' every time I walk into a room. If I were more confident, I would feel less down on myself and base my self-esteem on others' opinions. This confidence would improve other aspects of my life in that I would feel able to take more risks. The people in my life would benefit in that they wouldn't have to deal with my "freak-outs" where I'm desperate for words of approval. My confidence would make our interactions much more authentic and peaceful.

As for my inner goal, while at yoga today, I laughed when I fell over and smiled at the inflexibility of my body. I told myself that my body will tell me what it needs and that I cannot push it any further than it can go. I reveled in the strength and beauty of my body. I felt so confident and happy in my skin.

I'm excited about this experiment! I truly believe that I am worthy of my soul's desires