Sock It To Me

On Monday, I found out that I will be starting a support group with an intern on the 23rd! I'm so excited! I really didn't think I would get to, so I went all the way to the top and asked the Executive Director. And it worked! I'm proud of myself for asserting myself and getting my needs met at work. Given how I'm feeling about this job, I need this group to keep me wanting to come in every day.

We had a really lovely holiday weekend. We didn't end up grilling but did get some delicious hot dogs and onion rings from D's Six Packs and Dogs. Delish. Later on that night we played Clue and Uno with Raji for hours. It was so much fun. It was a very nice and lazy summer day.

On Sunday, the pups turned 3 years old!

Matlock. This is "my" dog, even though he completely disowned me when Kalem and I got married. Still, he will cuddle with me if I let him.Kairi. We call her "Monkey" more than anything! She is a daddy's girl to the core.
Begging for snausages, I'm sure. I love these big-face pictures!

As much as I "pretend" to hate the dogs, they were are sweet little boogers. It feels like yesterday that we got them from Kalem's cousin. They were the tiniest, cutest things. It was fun celebrating on Sunday. We bought these awesome homemade chicken stew treats for them and took them for an exhaustingly-long walk through the beautiful Frick Park. They were wiped out and slept forever! We also gave them a new tennis ball dumbell toy. They love it. Happy birthday, puppy-wups!

Not much else is going on. My mama sent me the most incredible care package full of yummy treats that will help me stay on track with my lifestyle change. My parents are so great and supportive!

I'm having a very slow and steady week. I'm already ready for the weekend!

Long Time No Post!

It's been forever! I've been pretty busy with school, work, and internship, but I think it's about time to catch y'all up. So, here goes!

Michael Jackson passed away on June 25, 2009. It was quite a big shock and I was more upset than I realized I would be. I've always been a fan of his work and now more than ever I'm reminded of how much so. A few nights ago, Kalem and I worked on our top 10 Michael Jackson songs and here's what I came up with:

1. Remember the Time

2. Billie Jean

3. P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)

4. Rock With You

5. Dirty Diana

6. Bad

7. Dangerous

8. Blame it On The Boogie

9. Shake Your Body (Down to the Ground)

10. I Want You Back

It was really hard to narrow it down to ten! I really like so much of his work. Craig asked why "Thriller" wasn't on my list. I actually have never seen the whole video in its entirety because the first time I tried to watch it, it gave me nightmares for months! This picture comes from the "Remember the Time" video--it's my favorite music video in the whole world. Here it is in its entirety:

Oh, how I love this. I used to do the dance and everything when I was a kid!

Not too much has been going on. I'm just really busy. Work is fine. I had a moment of clarity about my job last week. I don't love my job anymore. I like it and the people that I work with, but I just don't feel that I'm making much of a difference anymore. I even applied for other jobs in this moment of clarity! I haven't heard anything yet and I'm okay with that. I appreciate the flexibility with time that my job affords me. I don't think I want to be here forever, but I think I'll be fine until I'm done with school next December. I really am enjoying my internship and wouldn't want to have to start another job that would affect my ability to complete it in time.

The weight loss efforts are going along well. I am not losing weight quickly, but the inches are coming off. My clothes are fitting looser and I feel much healthier. I had a few setbacks last week, but I am re-energized!

I thought that I had tons to talk about, but I guess not! Things are good and I'm busy. Kalem's a dream. I couldn't ask for much more!

Maybe Tetanus Would Feel Better

Wow, have I been sick. Last Wednesday, I went to the doctor for my annual physical. As part of it, my PCP suggested I get a tetanus shot since it had been ages. I felt fine after I got it, except for the typical arm pain that comes with shots.

On Thursday, though, I got really sick. I had chills, a fever, and my arm was throbbing. I had a bump at least 1.5 inches big. I went to bed and slept fitfully and felt better upon waking. By the end of Friday, the bump had flattened and was a big "ridge" on my arm. It started covering more and more of my upper arm until it was five inches across and four inches tall. It was really swollen and tight and hot to the touch. It was red at first but is now a burgundy color. Through the weekend, I felt awful. On Sunday, when I realized that I could barely move my arm and I'd had a fever for four days, Kalem convinced me to go the doctor to get it checked out.

It turns out that I have a bacterial infection as a result of the tetanus shot. I was prescribed antibiotics and ibuprofen and my arm was put in a sling since it hurts so much to move it. I'm feeling a bit better now. The fever has finally broken. Yay! Also, the swelling in my arm is beginning to go down, though a part of it is darkening to a purplish color. I think I may be able to go to work by tomorrow or the day after.

Other than that, a lot has been going on. Two weeks ago, I became aware that layoffs were going to take place at work before the end of the month. I wasn't supposed to know, but gossip tends to spread quickly at work, so most of the employees knew. Because of funding problems, there just isn't enough money to keep everyone. Also, there will be layoffs in October, too. In addition, the Empowerment Center will only be doing needs assessments and support groups and no longer doing individual sessions as well, something that really pains a lot of us in the agency. It feels like such a big loss and it hurts that we can no longer offer that to our clients. Well, the official announcement from our executive director came on Friday during our bi-monthly staff meeting (I felt like crap, but really wanted to be there for that). It was a really sad meeting, you could cut the tension with a knife. But I really appreciated the strength our executive and associate director showed. It was obvious they were as affected as the rest of us are. I can't imagine having the make the decision to let people go.

I was visibly upset during the meeting (and I wasn't the only one), so the executive and associate director both found me at different times during the afternoon to let me know the funding situation for my department. Medical advocates are funded by a different funding stream. So, we're safe for now. I can't help but be relieved. I have been worried. My heart aches for those who will be let go.

On Wednesday, we had a really bad storm. There was a tornado warning for most of the time and it rained like crazy. I know that a tornado was sighted somewhere near the city. We had some flooding in our basement but all things considered, we fared much better than other areas of the county. We got about an inch or two of water in half of our basement. On Saturday we cleaned out the basement--threw out the carpeting and bleached the concrete floor. It smells really nice and clean down there now.

On Sunday, Kalem and I flexed our home improvement muscles (okay I flexed one and a half) and we sawed a queen-sized box spring in half in order to get it up our stairwell. Once we got it into the bedroom, we put it back together by screwing 2x4s into the frame. Actually, Kalem did most of the work while I sat on the floor, chattering. He's such a handyman! The bed looks great! It's so great having a bigger bed now. We were way too cramped in a full bed.

Lastly, I have decided to try a new vegetable every time we go grocery shopping. This time I bought a plantain. I've had them before and loved them, but had never prepared one myself. I fried the plantain and ate it with saffron rice. Delicious! Definitely a hit! I will be eating these much more often. I think my next will be a rutabaga because they look so interesting!

Today I plan to rest my arm and read. It should be a nice, relaxing day.

Family Ties

A few months ago, my former stepmother got in contact with me and we chatted a little bit about my half-sisters, Hayden and Hannah. I've been in touch with them before, but we lost touch for a bit. Now, we're emailing and texting and it's been good. I think they're really great girls and am looking forward to getting close.

When I first started talking to them, I had a lot of difficulty. I haven't talked to my father (well, our father) for at least 13 years (I think it may be more, but I'm not sure). I had a lot of anger toward him growing up. I felt so unwanted. But, I got over it. Mr. Man is the best dad anyone could hope for. And he didn't have to accept me! But he did and I'm so grateful for it. I love him dearly and he means the world to me. He's even so great that he's taken Kalem as the son he never had. He's just incredible.

It feels so funny to read letters when they mention their dad. I really hope that they are having a better experience. I hope that, regardless of the choices they make, they feel loved and special. I was so bitter at first and I'm ashamed to say I took it out on them by not being willing to communicate. I think I've grown up since them. Nothing is in any way their fault.

After talking to Ruthie (my ex-stepmother) last night, I called my grandma to catch up. She talked about how sick my father is and that she really hopes that we can reconcile one day. We'll see. I am sad to hear he's ill and wish him the best but I'm not sure if that's in cards. I wonder if we'll ever see each other again. Maybe when the girls graduate from high school. I'm not going to worry about it now, though.

I can't help but wonder if I'm hoping that these new relationships are a second chance at having a close sibling relationship. My sister and I get along, but we've never been bosom buddies. Of course, that's not to say that that will happen as we get older.

I am not big on sharing my feelings. I've been thinking about this a lot lately but haven't really talked about it. I broke my isolation a bit when I told my group of girlfriends here what's going on. I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of support I've gotten. I know that it's important to reach out when you want support, but it's hard and sometimes I feel ashamed of my feelings. I mean, I have a great life. Why should I worry about a relationship that's only purely biological now? I have great parents. I had a great childhood. I have a life where I'm happy, healthy, and loved. Now, I only help that I can be a positive, loving part of Hayden and Hannah's lives.

On another note, things are great. I haven't blogged much, I know. The weight loss efforts have been going wonderfully. I feel so healthy and strong. Work is...another blog topic for tomorrow. Life is great! :)

Eggsellent

I have been trying to make an omelette for at least fifteen years. I just couldn't get it right and always ended up with scrambled eggs. But yesterday, I actually did it! I made a yumtastic omelette with cheddar cheese and spinach. Yummy! Kalem took a picture that I'll eventually upload to this entry.

I also tried something new by making my first risotto. I had some barley I wanted to use and ended up making a yummy barley risotto. I never realized how much work went into it. It's totally worth it, though, because it was delicious. I used sodium-free broth and it was still good! It's funny, before I never would have liked something like it. But it's great.

I had a really great weekend with the hubby-hoo. We ended up completing every thing we could in the Lego Batman game. It was a ton of fun and we're sad to end it. I know it sounds silly, but it really helped with our teamwork! I love him. I think we're going to play Lego Indiana Jones next. We didn't love it when we played before, but we are going to complete it before we move on to Lego Star Wars. Anyway, other than that, we watched movies and just hung out. I'm sure I monopolized too much of his time, but it was wonderful. This morning, we had breakfast on the patio furniture in the back yard before work. It was so nice. I really miss him during the week and it's nice to have quality time with him during our weekends.

Enough Already!

Since I last wrote, my life has been pretty steady/great. No huge drama, not too much fuss. Just how I like it.

I have a new friend. I think--I use the word cautiously because it takes a lot for me to really get close to someone. No, that's not true--I usually get involved in a frantically intense relationship with someone I like, only to realize that I'm not as interested in being friends with them as I thought (and then slowly and sometimes painfully distancing myself). So, right now, I have a new close acquaintance. And I like her!

Her name is Lara. She's interning at Women's Center and is really nice. We kind of just hit it off after talking a few times and get along pretty well. As usual, I find myself telling her more about myself than I plan to, but I don't feel regretful afterwards. She's funny and sweet and really listens to me.

I'm doing my best to take it slow because I don't want to get my hopes up. Like I said, I've had a lot of really intense relationships (friend-like) that left me feeling really burned. I feel like I've reached a point of maturity in my life that I need to make serious decisions about who I really can trust.

It's funny, but sometimes I feel like I'm dating this woman. I keep saying things like "I'm taking it slow". After our first time having lunch, I actually felt giddy. I think that stems from the fact that I don't really have super-close friends in Pittsburgh and I feel this could be a close friendship. Don't get me wrong, I have a great group of women I hang out with outside of work, but...not like Craig or Laura or Surbhi, I suppose.

Anyway, she's great. :).

Other than that, I know I've mentioned that I've been trying to lose weight (what else is new?) and that I'd been considering weight loss surgery. Well, I've been working really hard and I no longer qualify for it! I feel incredible. This is the most serious I've ever felt about this. I have a weight loss blog going, but it's mostly to keep myself on track. I have a lot of weight to lose, but I'm so ready. I just can't wait/make excuses any longer.

Kalem and I are moving forward and getting a furnace and air conditioner. I don't want to pay for it, but I'll be glad to get our enormous/asbestos-laden dinosaur of a furnace out of our basement! It will also be really nice to have A/C in the house. It's fairly cool and tolerable right now (the nights are still actually cold!), but it's going to get hot and humid soon, I'm sure.

Today I don't have much planned. Once Kalem wakes, we have to clean the house and then I get to do my own thing (work out, wash my hair). It's been a really good weekend. We've hung out a lot and I love it. He's so wonderful and we really don't have much time together anymore. I can't wait until school's done so we get to do more.

Do You Know What Today Is?

It's been a while! I went on vacation from the 15th-26th and it was wonderful. Boy, did I need it! I didn't do as much as I planned, though, because I came down with a wretched cold on the 18th. I rarely ever get sick, but this one was a doozy. I haven't been that (this?) sick in years! So, for about half of the week, I was laid up. I had planned to be much more productive, but it actually worked out all right because Kalem and I had just purchased Lego Batman (for XBox) and played that for hours. I'm not always into the games Kalem plays (they're way too hard to follow), but I love this game! The Lego video games are almost the only ones I'm willing to play with him. They're just so cute and easy, which I definitely need since I lack any hand-eye coordination. Other than that, I read a lot. It was bliss. I am on a real Christie kick so I quickly read about five of them last week. I just love her novels. Other than that, Kalem (who was also on vacation) and I went to the Phipps Conservatory and had a great time. It really made us want to get back home and work on our yard. We also went to a place called Color Me Mine and made gifts for one another. Kalem painted a beautiful mug for me that features a turtle, ladybug, and butterfly. So cute! I painted a soup mug consisting of very bad renditions of Matlock and Kairi as well as bone and paw print. It's not very pretty, but I hope he likes it. :). They are being fired and we can pick them up on Friday. I'm so excited! Let's see, what else did we do? We watched movies, Kalem read, I made a new shirt. It was a really, really nice break.

On Saturday, we rented a hotel room and relaxed before going to Robinson Township for dinner and just seeing the area. Kelly gave us a gift card to Carino's (our very favorite restaurant) and we had a delicious dinner. We really love hotels (and cable!), so it was nice to get away even if just for a night. We spent a little bit of time watching the Food Network and HGTV and got a lot of great meal and decorating ideas. We can't wait to try them out!

Why did we go to a hotel, you ask? Well, Sunday was our second anniversary! Yay! I can't believe we've already been married for two years. We both agreed that this last year was so much happier and drama-free than the first. I love him so much and am so happy to be his wife. I can't wait to see where the next year takes us.

I'm back at work now, but I feel awful. Janice is off today and I felt that I shouldn't call in sick after taking so much time off, but I am really tired and achy. I may have to take some time off to rest more. I think I may have a fever, too. Blech.

All in all, though, life is great and I'm a lucky, content gal!